Sunday, April 15, 2012

Dream Log 14: Wonder Children of Dubious Parentage

Pro-bowlers can be quite the rancorous lot. If they don't get all of the pins down, they will blame everything from the unevenness of the lane to the smell of someone's cologne distracting them. They'll even go so far as to perform an elaborate musical number involving guest appearances by Bugs Bunny to pin the blame on a maniacal deaf child hiding in the back and forcing the pins to stay up.

After his part in the show was over and everyone was captivated by this impressive display, Bugs headed off on his own to wander the empty section of the bowling alley. There, he ran into Babs, whom he had not seen in years and who was more than a little discomforted to see him here so unexpectedly. They tried to stick to niceties, but it just wasn't working.

"Why did you leave me?" Bugs demanded.

"Me? You're the one who was always running off to play pranks. What was I supposed to do, just wait for you to get back, hoping you were still in one piece?"

"Well...yes? I mean, I thought you loved that part of me. Besides, you know I always come out on top."

"Not with that gremlin. Remember the gremlin?"

"How could I forget...but that isn't the point. I never knew you were so upset. You could have said something earlier."

"You were never ready to listen when I tried to bring it up, and when I got pregnant, I just knew I didn't want to raise my -"

"Wait, PREGNANT?!"

Babs froze Bugs with a glare. "We're rabbits. What did you think would happen?"

"Right, well...still! I have kids? I've never even gotten to meet them. What are they like?"

"Hmm, a few are a lot like you, actually."

Their conversation proceeded in this fashion until they decided to give it another go. My mind, however, decided it would be much more amusing to consider what the children of the black hat guy and his girlfriend in xkcd would be like. It decided that they would have superpowers, one of which being that they have the effect of a rainbow disco ball mixed with sparkles when they entered a room. This provided endless fun for their elementary school classes.

Switch gears again, and I ran into an anthropomorphized version of Fluttershy from My Little Pony, whose five children all had different abilities. Two boys had flame based powers, the girl had telekinesis, another boy was either super strong or part bull, and the final boy...he was strange. His power seemed to be a combination of wisdom beyond years and hyper-awareness of people and his surroundings. He was calm, collected, and had a knowing twinkle to his eye that made me slightly uncomfortable when he looked at me.

While leaving their house late at night, I saw something moving in the darkness. It seemed large and furry, but I barely saw it before it rushed into a tree. Naturally, I informed Fluttershy of this, and she decided to go out and talk with it. All the children were asleep, but of course the hypersensitive one with his crazy good hearing met us at the door and insisted he come along. Fluttershy agreed. If he wanted to come, it was probably a good idea that he did. I stayed inside to look out for the rest of the kids while they slept. After an hour or so, I heard them coming back. A creature somewhere between a horse and a fox stepped onto the porch with them. Without speaking exactly, it informed me that its name was Gabriel and that it was going to live with us for a while until he could get safe passage back to his home. The little boy seemed quite pleased with himself. Before heading out for real, I turned to Gabriel and asked.

"I'm curious, and please don't take offense. But, you're part horse right?"

Correct

"Do all horses really like carrots-"

No.

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