The inmate had to be transferred to a different ward for his execution. Somehow, schedules transpired that the one female cop in the area, Elliotte Thomson, had to assist. This was not lost on the inmate.
"What is a lovely lady like you doing in an abominable hole like this?" he inquired, all smiles and manners.
"Just ignore him," advised the lieutenant flanking the prisoner.
"Thank you," Elliotte snipped ,"I never would have come to that conclusion myself."
The lieutenant shrugged this off and turned to the inmate, "We're required to ask if you have any last requests."
"Well, I wouldn't object to a Steelers hat." This took the lieutenant off guard.
"Good man! For a murderous loony, that is. I'll see what I can do."
He somehow turned up a white hat with black and gold stitching and the Steelers' logo. Elliotte just snorted as the handcuffed man awkwardly slipped the merchandise on. They continued on their way until coming to the lobby, where the lieutenant had to slip off once again to sign the man out. He took the time to look Elliotte over.
"You're new, aren't you?"
"What makes you say that?"
"The way you carry yourself, tensed up and ready to go should anyone challenge your right to a badge. Really, you seem more hostile to your coworkers than to me."
"There's no point in hostility towards a dead man."
"Oh, my poor feelings," he smirked, "I wonder if a bomb threat would change your mind."
Elliotte turned pale, as did the lieutenant who had overheard the last remark. Then, her eyes locked onto his hat. It was no longer white but green. Without hesitation, she swept his feet from under him, pinned him face down to the ground and knocked his hat away. The lieutenant examined it, but found nothing.
"Oho! If you wanted to straddle me, you might have asked first."
Elliotte rammed the prisoner's face harder into the ground. "Talk! Where did you get the green hat, and where is the bomb, if you even have one." The murderer let out a sigh.
"A while back, the Steelers started a merchandising scheme to change colors every half time so that people would have to buy twice the number of products. The scheme fell through, but most hats are still made reversible with a green inside."
"What about the bomb?" the lieutenant demanded, casting the hat aside.
"Did I say there was a bomb? All I said was that I wondered how Officer Thomson here would react to one. And may I say, I am not disappointed."
Elliotte pushed herself back upright, trying to suppress a blush. The three of them continued on their way, exiting the main block and crossing over to the lethal injections building.
"Why did you kill all those people?" Elliotte demanded as the prison employees removed his chains.
"What can I say? When I walk down a hallway, and I know that to my left lie a sweet sleeping babe and its tender necked mother, and the world is screaming for me to turn right, I turn left. When the woman has finished struggling for breath, and the baby is crying at left and the door is to my right, I turn left. When I know that something precious is beneath my fingers, I cannot help but squeeze until there is nothing left."
"It sounds like you have an obsession with the sinister."
Surprise flashed across his face, then a twitch of the lips. Laughter bubbled out of him, genuine and unselfconscious. "Thank you," he finally gasped, "Thank you, Elliotte Thomson. Until we meet again."
The execution team led him into the back room. They did not lead him out.
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