I just wanted to get into the Intro to Robotics course. The first day of the class, I showed up as a wait-listed student should and talked to the professor after the class to see how likely squeezing into the roster was.
"Well, do you have a final project in mind?"
"Excuse me?"
"Everyone's got to have a project. If you don't start with one in mind, you're going to start behind."
"I - it didn't say anything in the course description, but I'm sure I can come up with something."
"Now."
"Uh - I'd...like...to make a, uh, platform for remotely syncing any computers near one another to function as a single system." The fact that such a project has more to do with computer science than robotics did not really bother me at the time. I was just relieved that the professor seemed to accept the project proposal. Then, he told me the rest of the course requirements...
"Was I supposed to write up the personal narrative before or after I roller bladed to campus?" I asked my fellow wait-list squatter as I failed to stop beside him.
"Before. Do you even have normal shoes with you?" He neglected to offer me a hand, smirking instead.
"Crap. Okay, it'll be fine. I'll just skate back to my room and pick them up."
"No time. We've got to get ready for the evil genius party. Don't worry though, they're providing the costumes."
He finally deigned to help me to the meeting place for other wait-listed students. We went to our respective dressing rooms, got into black robes, mine coming with a Lisa Simpson wig, and made our way to the evil genius party located several blocks away. However, the get up was not enough to gain entry. You had to prove your worth to go through the gates of "hell", also known as the party entrance. My friend earned admittance quickly enough by declaring that he liked offering to help people study for subjects he knew nothing about and feed them misinformation. I suspect his trademark smirk helped him through. I, however, apparently did not have enough crazy in my eyes when I told the bouncer that I murdered children.
While trying to come up with a new line to get in, a bulky masked man trying to prove their evil approached me and threatened "If you want to live through the night, you'll have to do all my bidding, and I have some pretty unpleasant bidding to be done."
"Okay, listen up. I'm going to tell you the story of the last man who tried to pull anything with me. And it's even a rhyme! Gerald wanted to act tough. He started to be scary. I rammed a knife inside his butt, and that was the end of Jerry."
"Okay, you're in," the bouncer announced as the masked man backed away from me slowly.
Surprised, I slipped through the red painted doorway. I had expected more red and fake flames inside. Instead, I found myself standing in the most blindingly white room I had ever seen. People dressed in solid colored shifts sat around marble tables. The professor beckoned for me to join him at his table. Hesitantly, I took a seat between my friend and some red headed girl in a blue shift, whom I did not know.
"Now, is the time of thanksgiving and vision," the professor explained to me, "I'd like to show you newcomers something. Leah," he turned to the red head, "would you please cover your eyes and join with the greater spirit?" With a flourish, Leah pressed her palms to her eyes and swayed back and forth while the professor placed a series of photos in front of her. "Leah is one of our most talented mediums."
"Oh, I feel a place of avarice," she sighed. The photo on the top of the stack was a bank. The professor flipped to the next picture. I tried to hide my surprise. "Now, ah, it is steeped in mystery." The picture showed a house plant. So much for being impressed. The next few photos were equally vague and unconvincing
"You know," the professor tried to clarify, "sometimes the greater spirit is difficult to reach when we're locked in ourselves." He flipped to a picture of a prison.
"I feel it! A penitentiary!" Leah exclaimed. I could barely suppress a snort. He had clearly prompted that answer from her. It seemed the demonstration was over, and the time had come for everyone to make contact with the greater spirit. Anxiety started to build in me. As soon as they closed their eyes to make contact, I slipped out of my seat and broke into a run. It did not take long for the professor to notice my absence. He and his minions took up the chase.
As I bolted, gravity decided to play tricks on me. One moment, my feet hit the ground solidly, the next, I could barely make enough contact to propel myself forward. "So that's how you want to play it, eh?" I though to the universe. "Fine, I'll make it out without your cooperation." By swimming through the air and bouncing off of walls, I managed to get out of the building. Outside, gravity returned to normal. However, the geography did not. Instead of finding myself in the middle of a city, I was lost in a maze of courtyards and gardens. Worse, one of the cult followers in a white shift appeared hard on my heals.
"Back off! I don't want anything to do with you people!"
"I want to help you!" she cried after me. That got my attention. I paused to look her over. Sweat and fear beaded on her forehead. "I know how to get out of here, if you'll let me show you."
Without any other options presenting themselves, I let her lead the way. True to her word, we cleared the premises within minutes. However, a quick glance back gave me a lovely view of seven psychos sprinting. When it became clear that they would overtake us, I stopped fleeing and turned to face them. Leah sneered at us.
"You're wearing white. All whites are loners and cowards. No wonder you betrayed us, but neither of you can stand against seven strong colors," she hissed. At that point, I noticed for the first time that I had somehow gotten out of my black robes and into a technicolor dream dress, so to speak. I glossed over the question of how, when, and where I'd gotten it.
"Hey, Leah," I butted in, "I'm not wearing any one of your colors. I've got all of them. If you think packing yourself into one category is anywhere near as strong as embracing all aspects of life, then I can't wait to prove you wrong."
Unfortunately, the dream skipped right over the unquestionably spectacular battle that ensued and went straight to me climbing a tree for women's rights.
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