Thursday, December 18, 2014

The End

You were made of gold,
wrapped in blankets made of steel and dreams.
Now you are cold.
Toxin seeps out of your splitting seams.
I sucked it out.
I drank as deeply as you bade.
Now I don't doubt,
it was a poison that you made.

It is the end
and I'm trying to remember
where I spent
my last 10 million heartbeats.
Don't pretend
that tomorrow is a promise.
I can't lend
my breath to you anymore.
 
When did I become
the mask you wear to hide your grin?
Well, was it fun?
Did you enjoy it as you broke me in?
You made me glow.
Our fire warmed your bed at night.
But fires grow
into a blaze I could not fight.

Your raging tides have rubbed me thin.
I cannot hold your madness in.
Soon you will be a memory.
I wish you health and agony.

It is the end
and I'm trying to forget
where I have spent
my last 10 million heartbeats.
Don't pretend
that tomorrow is a promise.
I won't lend
my breath to you anymore.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Nightmare Fandom

I was watching VHS tapes of shows that David Tennant had been in. My sister was there at first, but eventually she went to bed and I was left alone with the tapes. When I ran out of videos, I started to make up stories in my head about Tennant. I imagined if I were to run into him in an elevator, start talking, just get the chance to geek out with him. As I ruminated, I glanced out the window. Tennant stared back at me. I jumped, knocking over the remote, which accidentally turned the TV off. The Tennant through the window disappeared, and I realized he'd just been a reflection. I went back to my fantasies and eventually fell asleep.

I spent much of the next day lying about and continuing my mental movie, building a fictional friendship with an actor I'd never met. I asked my sister if she thought I was taking the fantasy too far, but she assured me that as long as I could tell real from imaginary, there wasn't anything to worry about.

Late that night, I got up from my bed to use the bathroom. As I walked down the hall, I caught a glimpse of someone standing in an open doorway. I froze. Before I could decide what to do, a passing car's high beams shined through the window, illuminating the doorway to reveal empty space. I continued to the bathroom. As the florescent lights flickered into life, I passed the mirror. For a moment, I could have sworn my reflection was replaced with someone else's. He did not look happy.

Unnerved, I did my business and hurried back to bed. I kept my eyes down while passing the doorway again, but I couldn't keep from glancing behind me before entering my room. A thin man strode down the hallway towards me. I rushed into my room, closed the door, and locked it. I took a breath, convincing myself that it was just shadows...and that the lock was secure.

"You shouldn't make up stories." I wheeled around to see David Tennant standing across from me, face grim. "They might not like the way you tell them."

Friday, June 6, 2014

Dream Engineering

I was having a fairly standard dream. Tyrion Lannister is on the run from some King's Guard jerks while his squire is disguised as a Vestal virgin, but the guards hear someone might be hiding in the virgins' ranks, so the priests line them up in short skirts so that a man with a cross literally built around his loins to prevent them from stirring or whatever is allowed to hobble past and guess if they're actually women by the sight of their legs, since no one else is allowed to see any more. Normal stuff, right?

The squire passes inspection (I think the cross guy let him pass because he took pity on him), and he sneaks off to try and find Tyrion who has become completely lost in a labyrinthine palace. Before he can find his master though, a stranger appears and pushes Tyrion through a secret door just before some guards come around the corner. This door, it turns out, leads to the secret sanctum of a steam-punk order that's been hiding from the rest of Westeros for decades.

The most prominent object in their collection of doodads is what I remember best, though alas not well enough to reconstruct. Imagine a loom whose pattern is "programmable". By tying the strings that raise the  heddles to various overhead gears powered by a crank, the order of  of their activation is determined. However, instead of the heddles lifting and lowering the warp threads, they shifted plates to create a track along which an arm traveled. Attached to the arm was a feather quill. In short, it was a purely mechanical handwriting printer.

After that, I kind of ignored the rest of the stuff with Tyrion. I'm sure the stranger introduced himself or something, but I was just staring at the gorgeous machine before me. The dream then shifted into the far future where the machine had been placed into a museum, and my sister promised to let me play with it for the rest of the day if I helped her give a tour to a group of rambunctious children.

I did my duty, but did I get to spend an afternoon programming the machine as promised? No! I got to turn the crank one measly time before some emergency with swords and cultural insensitivity got in the way.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Bloodbath (To the Tune of Moondance)

 Well it’s a marvelous night for a bloodbath
With the stars and the rage in your eyes
A fantabulous night to carve a path
Through undead as their screams fill the skies.
Oh all these idiot zombies are milling
Round our city with limbs still attached.
And I’m trying to waken that chilling
 Lust for blood that in you is unmatched.
And all the night’s magic seems to whisper and hum
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine off your gun.

Can I just make one more bloodbath with you, my love?
Can I just let loose all my wrath with a-you, my love?


Well I wanna go slay with you tonight
We can’t wait ‘til the morning has come.
And I know that the time is just right
And straight into the fray you will run.
And when you come my axe will be waiting
To make sure those that walkers stay down.
There and then all my dreams will come true, dear
There and then we will rescue the town.
And every time I end one you just tremble inside

And I know how much you hate them that you can’t hide

Can I just make one more bloodbath with you, my love?
Can I just let loose all my wrath with a-you, my love?

[original melody and lyrics by Van Morrison]

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Dream Log 59: Alternate History

King Russel and Queen Elia of an unnamed land set off to tour the entirety of their kingdom, a journey held every three years to remind lords and peasants alike whom they served. Both royals sat a horse rather than take a palanquin. Honestly, the king would have preferred sitting in some shade and reviewing reports, but the queen refused to dismount. He could not concede his discomfort. Eventually they made camp beside a watch tower. The royals and their personal guards claimed the tower itself. A wild cat wandered in amidst the tents and soon had half the guards swearing fealty to His Fluffiness.

Meanwhile, a green hued child in little more than rags slipped through the shadows towards the tower. Her dirt crusted fingers and toes wormed into cracks in the wall, hoisting her upwards. In seconds, she'd clambered through a narrow window. Below her lay the king and queen's sleeping forms, each on opposite sides of the chamber. She crept towards the king. Crouching beside him, she unwound the bandage about her right foot revealing a cracked and oozing ulcer. The urchin squeezed a drop of pus onto the king. She then crept once more into the shadows.

Russel awoke to the buzzing of manure fatted flies. Shia had already left their pallet to patch the leaks their cottage roof had sprung the night before. He hauled himself up, grabbed a chunk of bread just soft enough to chew, and hobbled to his flock. By noon, Shia arrived with victuals.

"The king comes today," she announced. He drank from the flask she handed him. "His men will take our sheep, feast upon them, and praise our generosity while we starve."

"Would you rather they kill us for denying them their due?"

"I would rather you had made them ill as I suggested. No knight would eat a diseased lamb. We would loose fewer to illness and only the poorest rather than the best of them."

"I will not sicken my flock.."

"An yet you continue to sicken me." She grabbed the flask from his hands and marched off.

"Some things never change," said a voice to Russel's right. Turning, he saw a man wrapped in white cloth and leaning against a boulder.

"Who are you?"

"I am the angel Q, and I have come to save your from your pitiful existence."

"How can I know you speak the truth? Where are your wings?" Russel readied his staff.

"Oh fine, if you need a demonstration..." Q pointed to the nearest sheep and pointed upwards. The animal floated off the ground, squirming and baaing in protest. Russel's eyes widened. He then dropped to his knees before the celestial being.

"What does the lord require of me?"

"Oh, only that you fix the timeline, restoring yourself to the throne so that I can get out of this hellhole of a pocket reality. Just follow me and this should be simple." Before Russel could respond, Q had wrapped an arm around him and sent them flying through the air. "Now, where were you born?"

"Um...my mother bore me near the watch tower." No sooner had he spoken than Q altered course. They landed before the structure in seconds.

"Now then," Q muttered as he circled the tower base, "if future me in the past does as present me intends to do in the future, then the key to saving past us from our present predicament should present itself here."

"I...am not a learned man."

"Of course not, you're mortal. Hello!" he crouched before a stone marked with a strange symbol. Russel leaned forward as the angel shimmied the block loose. "What did I say? Here, I'll read it out to you."

The jynxiot will come with the new king. Don't look at the cat. He's a trap.

"What means this? Timelines? Cat traps? What do I have to do with any of this?"

"Oh, you're more boring than Picard. It's simple. You were king. A jyn...a witch cast a spell on you that made a new world where you were a poor shepherd. In the old world, you ceased to have ever existed. I happened to be traveling through time when it happened and got stuck in this new, fake, tiny world. You know it will only exist as long as you're alive? A mere 48 years! Lucky for us, the witch will show up when this world's king does. We just have to force her to break the spell and we'll be free to go our separate ways."

Russel knew more questions would yield no clearer answers. Instead, he agreed to meet the angel at this same place when the king had made camp. That evening, he set off while strangers slaughtered his sheep. He girded himself against their wails with thoughts of kingship. Entering the camp proved surprisingly easy. Most of its inhabitants had gathered in a ring to marvel at some spectacle or another. Shouts of "His Fluffiness" punctuated the air. When he reached the tower base, Q appeared beside him. The silence stretched into minutes, then to an hour when Q pointed a finger and dashed into the darkness. Following behind, Russel soon made out a shape in the shadows hovering a foot off the ground. The shape resolved into a green-skinned girl.

Q hissed in a language entirely foreign to Russel. The child hissed and spat back. After a few more retorts, the angel took hold of Russel and pushed him beside the floating figure. She unbound her left foot midair, exposing a white-pussed sore on one toe. Before Russel could resist, she flicked the pus upon his face. The world swam before his eyes. When the dizziness passed, he found himself within the tower and dressed in a fine cotton nightshirt. Q crouched beside him while the green girl skittered up a wall and vanished.

"If I were you," God's messenger snorted, "I'd work on my marriage. Wives with jynxiot friends can really ruin your day. If you'll excuse me, I have a message to carve into some stone some couple decades ago."

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Dream Log 58: Madness is Catching

Where am I, and how do I leave? I have been asking myself this since I awoke. I had gone to bed in my own room, trying to ignore the party downstairs. It took ages to finally drift to sleep. Drunk and tone deaf Germans shouting along to old Britney Spears albums will turn a narcoleptic into an insomniac. However, I must have succeeded in falling asleep, for the next thing I knew, I was blinking my eyes open to this hell.

Hovels made of cardboard and cubicle walls pressed thickly against one another. The space between them ranged from two meters to two centimeters wide. Paths slithered through the clutter forming a labyrinth of sorts. The whole place was cloaked in the varied grays and blacks produced by dim starlight. Yet, when I glanced at the sky I found none. A flat, featureless ceiling stretched as far as I could see. Where I stood, it was perhaps five meters above me. Elsewhere, the ground rose up almost to meet it or sloped away into deeper darkness. I still did not know where the light came from.

Taking a closer look around me, I saw a man crouched in the corner where two dilapidated forts met. He wore only a blanket with a hole cut through for his head. His untrimmed hair hung in black strings around his face. He clasped his arms around his tucked up knees and stared at nothing in particular. Before fear and better judgement could take hold of me, I approached him.

"Excuse -"

"It's all inside, you know," he muttered without lifting his gaze, "There's no outside. We pretend, but I'm not outside the houses, I'm inside the world and I can't get out. We can't get out. We're all inside, and we can't get out."

"But then how did I get in? Where are we?" I tried hopelessly to reason with him.

"All inside, it's all inside. You and I and they, ever since we hardened the sky. Why did we do that? Why did we turn everything inside out? We go down and down and can't go up again, can't stop going in, and they're in here with us. Why?"

"Who are they? Sir?"

His head twitched to face me, transfixing me with a watery stare. "Do you know how to eat? They do, and they're teaching me." Just then, I heard something from the other end of the alley, a hissing. As I glanced up, a pale hand appeared on the corner of a building. A head came into view next. Hairless, its white flesh glistened damply in the half-light. Its lips curled away from jagged teeth through which a serpent's tongue flicked. Only two small slits above its mouth belied a nose, and where the eyes should have been, skin stretched unbroken over bone.

For a moment, the creature, the man and I seemed frozen. Then the creature screamed. I leaped back at the earsplitting screech, tripping over a chunk of refuse. As I scrambled to my feet, the monstrosity loped towards me in a lopsided gate. Seconds before it reached me, the man flung himself howling upon it. The monster writhed and clawed at him with taloned feet. However, he had curled his fingers about its neck and refused to let go. At last, the creature went still. Immediately, he lifted its skeletal arm to his mouth and ripped a hunk of skin away. Black liquid oozed from the wound and dribbled over his chin. He wept as he chewed, but whether from grief or joy I could not say. I simply fled.

When I felt far enough away, I tried entering one of the makeshift buildings. A rug served as a door flap for one of them. Pushing it aside, I found a room filled with various objects. Baskets, dolls, unlit candles, balls of string, and so on lay scattered across the floor and in disorganized mounds against the walls. I could see another room further back. Poking my head through the door, I saw canned food lining the walls. In the center of the room sat a plump woman shoveling carrots into her mouth from a tin.

"You want this food, you'll have to kill me," she stated between bites. It did not sound like a challenge or a threat, just the establishment of ground rules.

"Oh no, I don't want to kill you. This will probably sound like a dumb question, but where am I, and do you know anything about the eyeless monster I saw a couple minutes ago?"

The woman glared at me. "You're in my house. If you're being chased by a skinner, then you can leave right now. You'll probably just lure it here."

"No, it's not following me. Someone killed it."

"That was foolish. It'll just attract more of them. You don't fight the skinners. You run and hide. Everyone knows that."

"Well, I think the man that killed it...he needed it for...food."

"Then you'd best kill your friend now. Waiting for them to fully turn isn't any mercy."

"What do you mean, turn?"

"My aren't you a stupid girl. Go on, be gone." I considered pressing her for more information, but then I noticed something protruding from under a pile of empty tin cans. It looked suspiciously similar to a foot. "You want this food, you'll have to kill me." Shuddering, I hurried from the room.

The hours eked by. I scurried from shelter to shelter searching for answers. The largest group of people I ever came upon consisted of twenty men, women, and children. They had congregated to share food and water and welcomed me to join them. When I told them I didn't know how I had gotten here or where "here" was, they exchanged queer looks. Was it fear that I saw? Pity?

"Listen," a middle aged man with a tool belt strapped around his waist spoke, "you don't need to worry about all that. Just content yourself with a good meal under the open sky."

"But we're underground." This time I recognize the look they shared; it was anger.

Before they could respond, a shriek cut through the air. Everyone jumped up and fled in a different direction. Their supplies they left scattered on the ground. I spun around to choose a direction to run. To my left I could see a woman already disemboweled by the skinner. The alley to my right was already packed with fleeing people. I clambered atop the nearest shelter and over to the other side, then kept running. When I came to a rest, I was once again alone and have been ever since.

It gives you time to think, you know, huddling in corners until a skinner or madman chases you off. The thoughts are not pleasant, but they fill the emptiness. The prominent thought I've had is how very much I hate the ceiling. I can feel it pressing down on me, choking me. It's better in the hovels. With a roof and walls that I can leave, it's almost easy to pretend that there aren't any outside. I can go where I want. I just choose to be in this hovel.

Every now and then the shadow of a memory creeps into my head. An important man in a suit, a child holding a Marlboro, a news broadcast about...something I can't recall. And I shouldn't recall it. These memories do not belong to me. I have never seen that man. I am certain of it. I am just the victim of some trick. Perhaps this is just a delusion. I have gotten sick and started hallucinating. Or it could be a nightmare, yes just a terrible dream. I'm still in my room. The party is probably still going on. Their bad music is just messing with me, haha! Well if it's a dream then I should have some fun, shouldn't I? I control this world. And if I control it, then I will make it beautiful. I will give it back a sky! Oh look! That isn't a ceiling. It's a lovely sky, just clouded over. That's why it's so flat and gray. Yes, I am just enjoying the night sky while I wait to wake up. And I will, so there's no need to worry about that hissing sound.

------

Michael Leibowitz hurried down to a nearby hotdog stand. 8 at night and he could only take a measly half hour for dinner. That was just another reason he'd be glad when the whole radiation mess was over. He payed for a dog and was on his way back when he passed a lamp post with a cartoon posted to it. It showed a caricature of Leibowitz stuffing cash into his pockets as people were struck by radiation. Beneath the cartoon it read "I promised to save. I didn't say what." He scowled and pressed on. If people had any idea how pointless their bunkers were or how complicated relief logistics on a global scale were to manage...but no. They were convinced that burying their heads in the sand when the sand had already been hit by two tons of radioactive garbage would save them.

He glanced at the people scattered around him. A couple on a bench, a crone shuffling along the sidewalk, a child with a cigarette running from a young woman trying to take it from him. The latter noticed Leibowitz watching and scowled. Great, either she thought he was a pervert for people watching or she recognized him. He hoped it was the former. Eventually he made it back to the Department of Disaster Relief. Seconds after taking a seat his secretary leaned in.

"Sir, Dr. Gourd wants to see you."

"Couldn't he just call?"

"He probably could have, but he isn't answering now."

Leibowitz grumbled to himself as he trekked down to the labs. In the eery glow of vats and equipment serving no purpose he could suss out, he found Gourd. The scientist had bent himself over a beaker containing the preserved body of a bald, eyeless mouse.

"Why are you leaning over a rat in a glass in the dark alone?" Leibowitz said flatly, "That's what I'd ask if I weren't talking to you, Adam."

"It's a mouse, not a rat. Look at it."

"It's one of the mutants born after the meteor shower hit, right?"

"Wrong. It's a normal mouse that mutated after the radioactive meteor shower."

"Okay, what does that mean?"

"It means that it lost its hair, its eyes, and its sanity all while living in a perfectly controlled environment."

"You mean, there's no way that it was exposed to radiation?"

"Well, it's gotten plenty of normal radiation in the form of heat and light, but the sort you're talking about from the meteorites. What's more, the physical changes happened literally overnight." Gourd held up the beaker. "This little guy was acting a little off for a few days, but nothing too out of the ordinary. This morning I found him hairless, blind, and nibbling on its cagemates."

"What was that last part?"

"Oh yes, he went cannibalistic and savage. What bothered me most was not knowing how it happened. Even if we ignore that he had no exposure to radiation that could alter his cells, the manner in which they changed was so sudden, and it didn't look random like you'd expect from your basic irradiated rodent."

"I hope past tense means you've come up with something."

"Not anything good. I haven't had any time to properly research it. I only started seriously considering it an hour ago, so I can't give you proof, but...I think radioactive isotopes weren't the only thing on those meteorites. I think we're looking at an extraterrestrial virus."

"You can't be serious," Leibnitz scoffed.

"I am dead serious, Mike. Like I said, I don't have evidence, but I will get it. I don't expect you to make a broadcast today, but if we need a quarantine -" something shattered. Behind him, a lab tech stood surrounded by the broken shards of a beaker, "Jefferson, careful. That's the second time today."

"Sorry sir," he rubbed his eyes, then dragged a hand through his hair and shook the loose strands from his fingers, "I haven't been feeling too good."

"You mean well," Gourd corrected without hesitation. He turned back to Leibnitz who continued to stare at the lab tech open mouthed.

"No, sir. That's not what I meant at all."

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Dream Log 57: Mysteries

A crowd of cosplayers had formed at one of the airplane gates. As the plane loaded, I called "Have fun at AniCon!" The costumed travelers waves and growled as appropriate to their characters. Before they could finish boarding, an alarm sounded. The whole airport went into lock down. I asked the attendant what was going on, and reluctantly, she admitted that a body had been found in the cargo. Pinned to the corpse was a note claiming that one of the cosplayers was the murderer, and another was the next target. It did not give any hints as to who.

Well, since I could not do anything else with the building locked up, I took a peek inside the airplane. Rather than having bolted down seats within a narrow fuselage, it looked like a ballroom. Rows of folding chairs, some occupied by would-be-passengers, faced a small stage near the cockpit. Clearly, the discussion panels for the anime convention were going to start in flight.

The mood of the passengers had undergone a peculiar transformation. Most had grown hushed and tense. Perhaps a quarter grinned and speculated as though this were an elaborate LARP event. Then, there were those that turned detective. I fell into this last group. Since I was not on that flight, I figured I was not the intended victim and unlikely to be suspected as the murderer. This put me in a good position to investigate.

About half an hour into my inquiries, a scream issued from the ballroom/airplane. A heavy woman dressed as a fairy dragon shrieked as an armchair inflated and remolded itself around her, threatening to swallow the lady whole.

"You'll be okay. Just breathe," I assured her before calling out the hall, "I need all the makeup and nail polish remover you have, and straws to buy us time!"

Someone had an enormous bottle of acetone with him, and I ordered him to pour it over the swelling chair. It hissed as it dissolved. As other passengers cleaned off and consoled the woman, I took a seat outside to collect my thoughts. A man in impeccable steampunk attire slumped down beside me.

"What do you make of this latest lead then, 'Miss Marple'?"

"Heh, I wish I were half as clever as her. I get the feeling though that the murderer didn't choose his victim for personal reasons. It's a game to him...or her, so the victim was chosen either because she'll be fun to kill or at random to make it a game of chance. I don't know though." I fiddled with my watch to give my hands something to do.

"Analog," the steampunker commented, "You don't see those so often now."

"I suppose not, but I prefer them. Come to think of it, I quite like clocks. Not the quartz ones but the proper mechanical ones."

"Then feast your eyes!" He drew a fob watch the size of his whole palm from his pocket, unclipping the chain from his vest. The gold gilded beauty dangled in front of me before he laid it in my hand. "Go ahead, open it. Play around if you like. I've got to talk to someone."

He slid to his feet and sauntered off, all fox-like grace. However, I only had eyes for the watch. With the back opened, I could see each gorgeous gear working. I was just as entranced as if someone had swung it before me while whispering "you're getting sleepy."

Was the murderer caught? Did he kill his target? I do not know. I do not even know, if I were to catch sight of the steampunk man again, if I would run towards him or away.