Yay for Logic!

Syllogism the First
1. The grass is always greener on the other side.
2. There is no grass on the lawn next to mine.
3. Truly green grass is brown and looks like dirt.

Syllogism the Second
1. A stitch in time saves nine.
2. Sewing machines stitch rhythmically.
3. Sewing machines save lives, but only in groups of nine.

Syllogism the Third.
1. Syllogism the First is less ridiculous than Syllogism the Second.
2. Syllogism the First exceeds acceptable ridiculousness values.
3. Both syllogisms should be disregarded.