Coincidence

Sharon gasped for breath as she hurtled through the park, stumbling over logs and debris, but never stopping or slowing. Even as a stone gashed into her left foot, the pain only registered in some quiet place where the brain stores unimportant information. At the moment, nothing mattered but that she run faster. The rabid dog that pursued her was closing the gap.

Meanwhile, at a restaurant across from a park ...

"Harold, I don't know if I can move in with you. It's just such a big step, and I can't help feeling we're going too fast," Nina said, shaken by this sudden proposition. However, the patio of a posh restaurant was not the place for her to go into one of her breakdowns.

"quickly," Harold replied, unblinking.

"What?"

"Quickly is an adverb, whereas fast is an adjective. Going is a verb, not a noun, and thus requires an adverb."

Nina did blink, and for the first time in her life, shut up entirely.

Meanwhile, in a tree on the edge of a park...

Mr. Fuddles waited, flamethrower, blow gun, and gummy-bears in hand. The aliens wouldn't know what hit them.

Meanwhile, high above the city in a helicopter...

Detective Max Avery held his patrol of the skies. He had heard a report of some illegal activity in the park at night. He had been assigned to watch over the area, scanning it with infrared cameras to help ground forces if a suspect should run. However, Avery had never much cottoned to the idea of sitting back idly while others did the fun work. His trigger finger was starting to itch.

What could have happened several minutes later...

Sharon ran straight into the restaurant patio, knocking over the table Harold and Nina shared. As they started to react, a dog, frothing at the mouth, barreled into Nina, attempting to chew through her terrified face. Mr. Fuddles, knew what he had to do. He blew his blow gun, loaded with potassium chlorate, and put his flame thrower to work. Screams flew up into the night and patrons, burned and otherwise, ran from the scene. Then, came the gummy-bears, enveloping the patio in sparks and smoke. Detective Avery, seeing this, did not bother to think. He open fired, killing Sharon, Nina, Harold, and Mr. Fuddles. The rabid dog was fine.

What really happened several minutes later...

Sharon made it out of the park and hailed a cab. She would need new flip-flops and a visit to the doctor to stitch up her split foot. Otherwise, she simply needed to catch her breath and relax from the whole experience.

Nina realized that Harold's pedantic side did not agree with Nina's sensitivity. She suggested that they separate for a time and see where the break would take them. Nina had to wait for a taxi, because some crazy woman from the park took the one she attempted to hail.

Mr. Fuddles did not see the aliens he had so hoped for. He did manage to hit a pigeon with the blow gun, but it flapped away before he could add fire and gummy bears to the mix. Frustrated, he did not even notice the looks that the dejected young man leaving a patio restaurant gave him.

Detective Avery and the ground officers chased down and arrested a pair of drug dealers. As Avery flew the helicopter back to its pad, They also spotted a rabid dog, knocked it out with a tazer, and called animal control. Avery always missed all the action.

Moral of the Story

Never forget your Kevlar at home.